We’ve always loved Microsoft Office. Every version in the last decade has been a great productivity boost for us. Some people don’t like Office, but usually for really dumb reasons.

So when we hear people tell us how great online versions of Office are (eg Google Apps) we just laugh. Are you seriously saying that Google Apps gives you all the functionality you need to meet your professional requirements? We think not.

The beauty, speed and usefulness of Office is entirely due to it being a desktop based, thick client. Moving it online, or attempting to move it online, is never gonna work out better. And in 95% of situations you have to ask whether having it online is any easier anyway. Sure, there’s a reduced deployment process, but that’s about all.

Anyway, sounds like Steve Ballmer thinks the same. When asked about a comparison of Google Apps to Microsoft Office, he almost fell off his chair (we assume he was sitting on a chair at the time of the question – otherwise he may attempted to throw it <g>). He sums it up Google Apps beautifully:

“Nobody uses those things, and the usage data hasn’t grown in seven months. If you look at the ComScore, it’s just like this: It’s just a flat line. You can’t even put a footnote in a document.”

Source: eWeek news

We couldn’t agree more.

There’s speculation about Microsoft taking another swing at Yahoo, and there’s pros and cons of doing or not doing so. We’re not here to speculate. What happens happens.

But what is of interest to us, is how Steve Ballmer is now perceived over his decision to walk away when negotiations broke down. At the time we remember plenty of people (some even reputable <g>) carrying on about how Steve had lost the confidence of shareholders and board members, and may even have to be shown the door.

We wonder what those same punters would say now if Microsoft did have another go, and this time ended up buying Yahoo. With the Yahoo share price hovering around $12 (down from almost $30 around the time of the offer at the start of the year), Steve must look like a genius now that he didn’t pursue the acquisition.

And can you imagine the heat he’d be copping if he had ended up purchasing for $33 and saw the value drop to almost a third of that now.

Steve, we never doubted your decision.

This time with Steve Ballmer attempting to evade being deposed in the class action ‘Windows Vista Capable’ case. Joe Tartakoff has the details of what Steve’s lawyers are saying: Basically that he doesn’t know much.

Just blame it on Jim Alchin we say. Oh hang on, that’s what they’re doing.

The Vista Capable case is a whole bunch of people complaining that the ‘Windows Vista Capable’ stickers that got stuck on piss-poor performing PCs were misleading, and that Microsoft was aware of the fact but pushed it along anyway.

Our view on it is this: if Microsoft did knowingly promote Vista on boxes that couldn’t really handle it, then they’re fucking idiots. Why make your operating system look shit? Surely you’d want to only have it running on grunty machines that made it look slick and superfast. If they didn’t knowingly promote it then they should have at least made a point of stopping it. We think they fucked up which ever way you look at it.

UPDATE: Oh, and in terms of keeping all the plaintiffs up to date on proceedings, Microsoft plans to contact them via Windows Updates. ROLF!

Another excellent interview with Steve Ballmer pops up. This time by Rory Cellan-Jones from BBC News.

In it he covers much the same ground as other interviews (Search, Advertising, Windows, Office, Enterprise, Mobile, etc), but we have to admit: the more we see Steve, the more we like him. Each day the financial state of the world dives a little more, and in the midst of it Steve is standing strong – an example for us all.

It’s been said many times that recessions are more about panic and knee-jerk reaction than anything else – a kind of mass follow- the-pessimistic-leaders off the cliff mentality. Thank fully we have optimistic and well considered leaders like to Steve to follow this time. For anyone in Technology the coming months are going to be scary alright. Just don’t lose your head.

Here’s video, courtesy of Jas at the Web Pitch (because the cockfags at BBC don’t have any embed code).

By the way, make sure you understand the David and Goliath allusions Steve puts forth – he’s saying he is the David this time, to Google’s Goliath. Something that Rory inverted at the end of his piece.

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Steve Gillmor’s review of Cloud and Client last week was excellent. His analysis of Bill, Steve and Microsoft in general is spot-on in our opinion. Just read it.

By the way, some people aren’t sure where to view the Churchill Club interview (from 25 September). You can view it from the TechCrunch post from the same day.

[UPDATE: We originally embedded it in this post but took it out because it had auto-play set, and that really gave us the shits.]

Steve Ballmer has his sights set firmly on being number 2 in search within 5 years according to the Telegraph. Good on him I say.

This might sound ambitious, but don’t be concerned. You can be quite confident in this happening because Steve has said he is ‘quite sure’ Microsoft can achieve it. That’s right. He is ‘quite sure’. Sleep easy now.

OK, so we’re piling shit on him a bit, but when you see that Live has a piss-weak 3% of the search market and Yahoo (the current number 2) has 11% you’ve gotta wonder. David and Goliath metaphors don’t really cut it.

So the question becomes, did he really state categorically that Live search would be number 2 in five years? To get the real story you should watch the interview that those reported statements come from:

In it you’ll see that Steve is being pushed for a time frame. He reluctantly agrees to the 5 year timeframe after repeated prompting by the reporter (and a pretty shit interview it was in our opinion). So, the moral of the story – it’s pretty hard to rely on anything you read these days (except of course the current blog you’re reading <g>).

Moving on, we looked at a few more of his comments. And, being a little kinder to the man we have to say that he is very down to earth when in retrospective mode. Here’s his honest response when asked about whether they missed the Search and Advertising boat:

"Sure, should we have embraced the opportunity in search and online advertising a few years earlier? The answer is yes," admitted Mr Ballmer. "But there is nothing to be afraid of. It’s all upside, we have a small market share, we are David, Goliath is out there, the opportunity is ours and we need to seize it."

We might give him a hard time here, but deep down we have a high respect for the man. He’s passionate, honest/realistic and focussed. Exactly what you want in a CEO, especially coming into some tough economic times.

Yes, we read the vague reports too – something about a Windows Cloud operating system coming. Something elsewhere about how it will ‘look a lot like a Windows Server‘. In any case it will be aimed at helping developers write internet based applications.

The funniest part about this bit-by-bit news trickle (mostly via Ballmer) Microsoft have been feeding in the last few weeks was his closing remark (noted by PC World):

"That’s all I can say on that," Ballmer said. "Otherwise, we have no drum-roll announcement in a month."

An Australian technology site – Builder AU – notes that Microsoft Steve Ballmer is to visit their country later this year (November 7). Australia is known for being reasonably backward when it comes to technology, with poor infrastructure and, perhaps due to having only a small population, high priced mobile and internet services dominated by a few monopolies.

Steve will be talking about innovation and ‘fifth generation revolution’. What a fucking joke – our advice is to get the first generation innovation right first.