Hands up all those people who use Live Search. Yeah we thought so. But that’s all gonna change.

Scene at Microsoft HQ

• Live Search Program Manager: We seem to have a problem with Live Search
• Drone: What’s that?
• Program Manager: It doesn’t seem to be very popular
• Drone: No shit, Sherlock.
• Program Manager: What can we do about it?
• Drone: Nothing. Face it you’re fucked. You couldn’t even pay people to use it.
• Program Manager: You’ve just given me a great idea.

You get the picture. With absolutely no traction in getting people using Live Search, Microsoft has turned to its last resort: pay the punters to use it.

That’s right: with SearchPerks you get credits for using Live Search (we’re not kidding). Next April (yes we checked if it was April 1 – it aint) you can start redeeming these credits for all manner of goodies including music downloads, plane flights and even an Xbox controller.

It’s limited to the first million to sign up (and only in the US – sorry O/S readers – you obviously already use Live Search and don’t need to be bought off).

Madness.